


The Supernatural Adventures of Big Wad and Little Ass (And Neil)

by casey270



Series: Halloween [1]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Halloween
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-06
Updated: 2013-10-06
Packaged: 2017-12-28 13:16:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/992428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casey270/pseuds/casey270
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Tis the Halloween season</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Supernatural Adventures of Big Wad and Little Ass (And Neil)

**Author's Note:**

> for the glam-100 prompt Family & Friends 
> 
> All information on how much damage rock salt would cause came from [here](http://www.theboxotruth.com/docs/bot33.htm). A wad is shotgun shell packing, JSYK & i blame this on a combination of a SPN S1 marathon & snowstormskies. She's directly to blame for the title

“Dude, you shot me in the ass!”

“Would it help if I said I was sorry?”

“No, Adam. You shot me with a load of rock salt. My ass is on fire, and not in a good way. Saying you’re sorry won’t help a fucking thing.”

“How about if I kiss it? Would that make it feel better?”

“It’s not a boo-boo, man. Kissing it isn’t gonna help, and you’re never getting that close to my ass again.”

“Technically, I wasn’t that close when I shot you, baby.”

“You were twenty fucking feet away. That’s pretty much point blank range.”

~*~

“Ow, ow, fucking ow. The hell are you doing back there, Neil?”

“Putting your sorry ass back together, which is sure as shit not how I wanted to spend tonight. What the fuck were you two doing, anyway?”

“We were ghost hunting.”

“Shut up, Adam. We were not ghost hunting. I was trying to prove to you that there are no ghosts when you filled my ass with salt. Ghosts don’t exist. Spirits and demons and devils and vampires don’t exist.”

“Not listening. Nope, not listening to you. Vampires are real. And I know I saw something moving out there.”

~*~

“That would be me. I was the only thing moving out there. I was moving right the fuck in front of you the whole time, hence my ass being salted. Seriously, do I look like a ghost to you?”

“In my brother’s defense, you are kinda pale. Maybe even beyond the pale sometimes. I’d cut him some slack on this one.”

“Shut the fuck up, Neil, and take care of my ass.”

“That is so fucking not what I ever wanted to hear you say.”

“Adam, why the hell did you call Neil in the first place? Why not Sutan?”

~*~

“I did call Sutan, baby. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him laugh that hard. He said something about you telling him that your ass was off limits, so find someone else.”

“But why’d you have to call Neil? He likes causing me pain.”

“Because you wouldn’t let me get near you.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you **SHOT ME IN THE ASS!** ”

“Shut up, Tommy. You’re being more of a drama queen than Adam.”

“Sorry, but I’m wounded. I think I’m entitled to a little bitching.”

“Your pants are what’s wounded, man. You, on the other hand, have a couple of scratches.”

~*~

“Neil’s right, Tommy. It barely broke the skin, but you’re gonna have a nice bruise where the shell casing hit.”

“That’s the wad, right? Adam’s wad hit Tommy in the ass and left a bruise! Try explaining that one, Ratliff.”

“Well you’re the one cleaning up the mess Adam’s wad made on my ass, so if I have any explaining to do, so will you.”

“I’m so done. If you want someone to rub ointment on it, talk to Adam.”

“Admit it, Neil. You’d love it.”

"Why am I still here?"

"You're family. Shut up and pass the ice pack."


End file.
